eleven last day

you were down the shore with me and my family.
everyone was there, but we were eating out for a change.
the restaurant was covered in dark wood and smelled like a damp forest, but the ocean sounds made us realize we were still at the beach. we clinked glasses and shouted over the not so loud music. we clapped and enjoyed each other's company, like we were all childhood friends who had been silent for ten years. what was different about this night? if I had to compare this place to any place, it would be Tuckers- wavering with the flow of the bay, waiters on a ship, glasses always with a comfortable aftertaste of sea salt. You could see sailboats chattering to each other outside the round window by the door- an escape to blue. The people in this local pirate joint felt like outlaws, excited by their own disappearance; but really they're all rich snobs trying to get away from something or someone. they lacked mustaches and cigars and scraggly shirts. here, they were always clean, polite, and ready- but adventurous, so solidified in their nature no one dared to steal their treasure.

the restaurant somehow turned out to be a buffet, but instead of selling salad, they said you could sell whatever they had in stock. as we sat down to eat you stared at me from your little stand, towering over it like a adult who kindly visits lemonade booths in the suburbs. your figure was looming but welcoming, anyone would buy fruits or drinks from you. you had done this before, that was obvious, but why is what I didn't bother to ask.
i wanted you to come dine with my family, but I was also happy you found pleasure in observing from afar.
you wanted to watch and understand without listening. i liked that.

the stands alongside you started to melt together in bland colors- grey, brown, beige- and all I saw was you watching this family, calm because they were down the shore. it made you smile, not because it was something you were missing, you had that family, but because I was living it. Right then, now, see that moment! it was alive for me, something that was rare and raw, but smelled nice, like lavender on dew.
you eventually came over, at the perfect time, of course, and held my hand under the table like you just found me after i had been lost for a week in the dark. your smile was as fresh as morning seashells, and gleamed like the 5am sun. no one noticed but me, and that's all that mattered- it wasn't for anyone else. there was this unspeakable bond that I couldn't shake, nor did I want to. You were effortless in conversation, as if it was your own family, as if you hoped it would be someday. It was nice for you to have some money in your pocket and still be in the warmth of late summer. breezes weren't sharp yet and lifeguards were still on duty. There was an impending time zone in which this would end, but I couldn't figure out when the clock would strike. Not by midnight, I knew that! But maybe in a few days you would slip from my fingers, like you left to early with warning. the warning, though unspoken, was in your smile. you tried not to linger, but the creases alongside your left and right crevice showed a limit. not to be blamed, but just accepting reality as it came. soon enough, the alarm would rise beside us and it would be winter. and we would be alone, without families, without each other. i wasn't mad, how could I be if you were there, I only wished it wouldn't fade. Oh and that I wouldn't remember that smile in the morning! like melted sprinkles, the rainbow was a mess in my hands.